The Last Try....

October 2017 I had a tubal pregnancy removed, yes I lost my tube. Never in my wildest dreams I would ever think that I would get pregnant again. I was supposed to get my period January 27 2018, at the end of the day I took and test and BFP! knowing that last time was ectopic I freaked out and scheduled an appointment with the Dr to make sure things were ok, and sadly things are not Ok, the Dr didn't see a gestational sac at all, at exactly 5 weeks there is no sac. I am paranoid of having ANOTHER ectopic, he told me that it could be an early miscarriage, I will go back to the hospital tomorrow for more blood work. I am bittersweet, but one thing is for sure, this is my last try no matter what the outcome is....no more tears, no more hoping, I knew that sooner or later I will have to admit that motherhood wasn't for me.