Always a Godmother, never a mother...

I'm sure I'm not the first to post this, but I feel this sooooo hard! I see a lot of people who are not the best parents. People who do a lot of drugs, abuse their children, have kids who are always sick due to poor nutrition and neglect. Maybe I'm not in a place to judge, but I have worked really hard to get myself healthy for my future children - to no avail. I have cut out caffeine, cigarettes, etc. They always tell me I have the "perfect ovaries" and am in great health. I have so much love to give and I am so ready for my life not to be about me anymore. I just feel like I was meant to be a mother more than anything in the world, yet I'm always a godmother, never a mother. ☹️ Anyone else?