i feel so down!

Sorry for the depressed post, but I can't shake off the feeling of wanting to cry this morning... Af is due in 5 days and it is my 33d birthday in 6 days, I am so scared to get my period, I know it will hit me so hard. We have been trying ttc with unexplained infertility for over 3 years now and I had a miscarriage at 5 weeks in September. I just feel like it will just never happen. 😭😭😭