I feel like a bad mom.

So, a few weeks back, my soon to be 16 year old told me that her and her boyfriend had sex for the first time at her dad’s house. She said she believed the condom broke and asked if I could buy her a day after pill. I told her that I was glad she used protection, however, I wish she would have waited. ( she has an appointment for BC this month). I also asked where her dad was when they were having sex. He allowed her to go into her room with her boyfriend which is on the other side of his house. He was playing a video game not paying attention to them. Anyhoo, she asked me to please not tell her dad. Needless to say I got her the pill and did not tell. I did tell her the next time it happens I will be speaking with him.

A week later she and boyfriend are here at my house. We go and buy some records and come back and she asks if they can go in her room to listen to records. I say yes, however I want the door open and I will be watching them. ( I can sit on my couch and look right into her room). I constantly do ,”hand checks” and nothing happens. I ask my husband a question and turn my neck to look and my daughter is giving boyfriend a handjob!!!!!! 😫😡 Of course I tell them to stop and that they lost all privileges to be in her room. If they’re here, they will be in with me at all times.

That was it! I told her dad because I wanted him to be aware cause I knew that they would do it again at his place. He was just like,”oh lovely.” Nothing else. 😠. My daughter is there tonight and she thought I was playing about telling her dad. I do feel awful cause she did ask me to keep it private. I asked my mom the same thing growing up and she snitched on me in a heartbeat. I never trusted her after that. I don’t want to lose this bond with my daughter, however, I feel like she totally disrespected me. Am I a bad mom?? 😭😭