I’m in an abusive marriage. I’m told daily about all my mistakes and flaws and how I’m such a bitch and mean and basically I can’t do anything right. With in the past 15 months he has started to put his hands on me. He’s put me in choke holds, he’s pulled me to the floor by my hair tonight he got mad and intentionally tripped me with stuff in my hands. I failed my daughter. I always told my self my kids wouldn’t be from a divided home. I always told myself my kids would never have to see what I saw (she still hasn’t seen the extreme that I’ve seen, my mom is a drug addict). I told myself my daughter would never have to know what it’s like to have a 72 hour parent (a parent you only see every other weekend) and yet here I am. Knowing that if I stay he could kill me and my daughter will think it’s ok to let a man hurt her but if I leave my daughter will know the world I knew growing up and my heart breaks because I know I need to leave. I know it’s time and I’ve given him 4.5 years and it’s just gotten worse. His parents know he can be verbally mean, and my family has no idea (basically because I’m worried what my dad would do if he knew) but no one knows how bad it really is. I tell myself that I need to keep it under wraps to protect him and I now realize that’s exactly what a victim does. I just can’t help but feel like I failed my daughter. I failed to give her the father she needs and deserves. I failed to give her a father like mine. No matter how many times my husband tries to tell me my family hates me my dad did everything for me.