I’m done

I was 6 days late yesterday. All tests kept coming back negative. I got my hopes up for no reason. I would’ve been 5 weeks had I not started my period today. I’m not trying to conceive anymore. This will be my last post I’m deleting Glow and Glow nurture for a while. I’m just gonna use eve to log my periods since that’s all I ever seem to have. I give up on trying to have a baby. I see so many women tracking and having successful ttc months and all these positive tests early on. I don’t wanna see them anymore because I envy ALL of you. And even some of you get pregnant and it’s unexpected. All of you are so lucky. And I hope none of you take being able to get pregnant quickly or easily for granted. I want this more than anything in the world and now as usual it seems I get to sit and wonder when will it be my turn to be happy? My husband and I have unprotected sex month after month trying to make my dream of becoming a mother come true. But no. And I sit here and think about how my parents said “it only takes one time to get pregnant” when I was a teenager but they only said that to stop me from having sex. Because it’s not true. I’m done googling symptoms, or symptom spotting. I just don’t care anymore, after months of constantly being heartbroken by negative tests. Being pregnant is all I’ve ever wanted but now I’m forcing myself to forget about it.

- Heartbroken and over all the bs