He's just using me isnt he? He wouldn't let me go to the bar with him to watch him play music

Back story: I been hanging out with my ex. We dated for a year, over a year ago.

We been seeing each other for the last two months. People know we're talking and hanging out, even his family.

He mostly just comes over to watch a movie. We haven't gone out on a date or anything.

He doesn't want a relationship. I would normally not accept this but he has a strange way of going about dating because he's terrified of getting hurt.

He says he won't commit to a women till she proves her loyalty.

Anyway, he acts "in love" when we cuddle. Kisses my forehead and looks deep into my eyes type thing. Is it all an act?

Its hard because I feel like I give so much of my body and I don't "wine and dined" or dated in return.

He says we're just hanging out and having fun. Simple as that.

So when I heard he was playing and singing at a local bar, I asked if I could go.

For some reason I kind of assumed I could. Just part of hanging out and having fun. No big deal. I guess it is.

Because he said no.

I was really hurt. He said its not a good idea because his family would be there and all the "boys".

Says he swears he's not "hiding" me.

Just doesn't want to mix everything.

Like. He says I'm not just a booty call and just having fun. So why can't I watch him play?

He's never spent a Friday or Saturday night with me. I do my own thing. No big deal but damn, it lowers my self esteem when normally im a very confident women.

When i talk to him about it, he always makes it sound fine. As soon as he leaves I feel like shit.

What's going on here? How should I feel? What should I do?

THeres no one I really want to date. So im trying to look at it as if, at least I have company and sex while im single and looking.

but should I be doing that?

Im just confused. PLease, I would love some advice.