Ummm idk (but I really do)

On a ride home from a group trip my “friend” who’s a boy kinda..... sorta.... started to get some action with his hands under the blanket. He stopped before I came close and stuff but.... I was turned tf on. I brought it up after the fact and made a few jokes but i haven’t had a serious talk about it yet. I want to tell him I liked it, and be out there, show I’m interested and stuff.... but something in me makes me want to hold back, makes me ashamed to enjoy those activities. I know what I want to say but.... idk