Before anyone takes offense please understand I know many women try unsuccessfully to have children and that I too struggled with fertility issues. I just want to know if what I’m feeling is normal? Is there a way to get over this?

I am almost 30 weeks and Iv been having a lot of doubts about actually wanting this baby. I never wanted kids until I got married. I don’t particularly feel comfortable around kids and find my patience with them to be lacking. Anyways, I just feel really anxious about my life changing so much and about feeling like I’m going to be in this alone. We haven’t done a single thing to prepare for the baby. Iv asked my husband more than several times to help me clear things out of our spare bedroom so maybe we can start arranging a nursery and he doesn’t. Every time I am sick (which has been almost every day so far) he asks me why I’m throwing up. Iv explained to him nicely that for some women it’s a long lasting thing but he still acts surprised when I get sick. It shouldn’t annoy me but it does. Several nights out of the week he stays after work and drinks while I am home alone. I just feel like it’s unfair because I didn’t get into this to do it alone. Sometimes when he’s been out for a while and I’ll call he’ll just not answer. I am just fed up in thinking that I’m going to be alone in all this and yes Iv communicated that to him but I’m still not at ease. This is such a big life change and I am afraid that I will grow to resent my child if I’m left feeling alone. As of right now I want my marriage back. I want sex back. I want my husband looking at me like I’m attractive back. I just want to walk up the freaking stairs without feeling winded. I want to feel normal and have my normal life back. I think this goes beyond regular anxiety about a child coming. I have yet to feel excited about this baby at all. Is something wrong with me? Will this go away? I just feel so alone in all of this.