Losing virginity to hookup (long story, no judgement pls)

Just wanted to share my first romantic/sexual experience

I’m a senior in hs and I’ve never been in a relationship before. I had one flirtationship with a longtime crush but he was never serious and I’ve realized that we are incompatible, but he made my feeling go all over the place. I’ve also had many struggles with self esteem over the past four years. I had never been on a date or kissed anyone, the furthest anything happened was hand holding.

Recently life has took an even worse turn (friend drama, school struggles, college acceptance disappointment) and I finally said screw it and downloaded Tinder (more on this later). I match with someone cute (a college boy) and he asks if I want to hook up. I was kind of jealous of my friends for having more experiences than I, and I liked having a boy’s attention for once, so I said yes.

I go to his dorm a few days later and I tell him that I’m a virgin and this is my first time hooking up (but not that I’ve never had my first kiss either). He was gentle and patient with me (although my first kiss was a bit all over the place bc duh). I end up losing my virginity to him, and I was sort of scared it would hurt and I would bleed but in my experience, it hurt for 30 seconds then it started feeling nice (no blood). I think I was lucky to come twice too. We now hook up casually sometimes.

I realize looking back that this wasn’t a very responsible thing for me to do, but I don’t regret it because I was lucky to have a relatively good experience. I got Tinder BECAUSE I was tired of not getting attention. I recognize that hookups should not validate me, and I’ve been working on the other parts of my life that I struggled with. All the same, I am happy to make my “sexual debut”; I’ve been feeling more confident about myself ever since.

I guess the reason why I wanted to share this is because I can’t find anyone on the internet who have had a similar experience to me, and I want to see if anyone can relate (or if I just went wild 😛). What are your thoughts?

((((Also dw we used a condom, I’m not having unprotected sex irresponsibly))))