Every. Single. Month.

First I get AF and feel super depressed and cry because I’m not pregnant yet 😭 ugh

Then after AF I start feeling great, planning for BDing and continuing to TTC and I feel hopeful that this month will be the month and I vow to stop stressing and just let it happen.

Then I realize ovulation is near and I start obsessing. I start noting every little thing my body does, take 3719252925189 OPKs, start trying to keep track of my BBT, get my husband involved in my obsessing, start questioning the validity of OPK’s, wondering if I will ovulate at all or totally missed the window...I don’t think my husband finds this behavior very “sexy” which makes BDing less fun

Then the two week wait happens and the obsessing continues except this time I go through periods of extreme hopefulness and then extreme sadness that it didn’t happen. Sometimes i manage to convince myself I’m pregnant, but then...

AF comes back and I’m a sobbing mess.

WHYYYYY?!?! Tell me I’m not the only one, i feel crazy. I can tell my husband thinks I’m being crazy....he gets less responsive and tries to change the subject. I hate myself for obsessing but I just want to be a mother 😭😭😭