To Abort or Not

Goodmorning ladies 🙋‍♀️ I’m here today cause I’ve just stepped into a hard place. I’m 24 with a beautiful 3 year old daughter who’s my whole world. Her father helps on occasion, depending on his mood, I don’t get upset anymore cause he doesn’t work 🤷‍♀️ his family helps when they can and spends time with us. I have an okay, pretty decent job. It’s only part time so sometimes it can be harder on me. I have my own place & car or whatnot. I’ve been single since I conceived my daughter cause I needed to focus on us and I just got lost in it. One of my ex boyfriends (from 2010/2011) has been trying at me for a while, we didn’t end on a bad foot so we didn’t decided to try again at dating, we’re older now. well, being reckless we had unprotected sex. I went & bought a plan b to be safe. Well my period was supposed to start yesterday, I buy two test &

Now I’m staring at them like I’m crazy. I’m thinking to myself “this can’t be” “you’re stupid” “I knew it” “not again” & a million other thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, we discuss our futures & how we’d like them to play out. He doesn’t have any kids, loves mine & wants to have one with me. He’s a great guy & comes from a strong family. I had already planned on spending the whole day with him, so imagine this & im holding on to this information but trying to play it cool and be me. Don’t get me wrong, I love him. I’d love to give him the son he wants, I’d love to start a family. I just feel like right now isn’t good timing. I’m stressed over bills, he’s stressed over money, he’s in a place where he’s trying to get back on his feet, and I’m trying not to fall back into a rut. I had immediately said to myself “I have to have an abortion” I’ve never agreed with them to a certain extent (don’t chew me out) but I’d never thought I’d be the one in this place. I waited all day to talk to my best friends about it. My bestfriend of 10 years laughed at first cause she thought I was joking, she’s against abortions but she’ll stand behind me 100%. She just wants me to be sure. My other friend is against them, and begged me not to and if I couldn’t to give the child up for adoption. That’s the issue. I can’t see myself pregnant all year, and to up and give them away. But I see a headline in my head “dating and ex for a month & now she’s having his baby” 😓 I did tell him, I shot the mood, I cried. But he said whatever my decision is he will stand by me through it all. He understood why I felt like I did, and told me “we can have another later baby, when you’re ready, I’m sorry” and just held me. My other friend said that abortion fucks up my body & I might not be able to have anymore after it. I just wants someone to talk to me, please. Cause i feel stuck & sick, please ?