How am I going to do this?

jordan • first time mommy to be ❤❤ due October 29th 18'

I am 5 weeks 5 days. holy cow I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant! It's something I've wanted for so long and we have been basically rabbits for months. finally, getting the positive we have been waiting for. Don't get me wrong, because I am so very excited, but I'm absolutely terrified. I always imagined bringing home a sono pic to show my mom she's going to be a grandma again. I pictured going shopping for baby stuff, and seeing her pride in me at the baby shower. Being able to call her when my emotions are through the roof, or asking her questions about the baby. on July 22nd 2016 my mom passed away at 48 years old. and now, almost 2 years later. here I am pregnant and without my mom to help guide me into motherhood. I'll never get to share the happiness of hearing the babies heart beat. I'll never see my baby in my mother's arms. i cant call her with my anxiety. my baby will never have it's grandmother. there in person. I will always do my best to make sure the baby learns all about her. to know she would have shown so much love and support. however, i am scared. i just dont know how im going to get thru life without her. I hope I'm half the woman she was because she was amazing. my rock. my best friend.