Gender Disappointment?

Question

Ok so I need to vent a little and get some advice. My husband and I have 3 sweet little boys (ages 9, 8 and 3). We are pregnant with our 4th and final baby. We went to a private scan yesterday to find out the gender. I was 15w1d according to my dr but 14w5d based on LMP. The tech said boy after trying to get baby to move and open its legs for about 10 minutes. I held it together in the room but when we got to the car I broke down crying. I just need someone to tell me I am not alone in how I feel because right now I feel like a horrible mother because I know how blessed I am to have a healthy baby. I have asked God to forgive me because I know I shouldn't feel that way.

Answer

check out the website ingender.com , there is a forum on the site and a specific section for gender disapointment! a lot of awesome mommys on the site and can totally relate and sympathise with you. Gender disapointment is a real thing ♡ its not that you dont/wont love your bundle, its that you are mourning/grieving what you have always imagined having. Dont be too hard on yourself mama ♡ ××

Answer

I just saw this. I know it was posted months ago but I have to tell you I am in your boat. I have two boys and pregnant again. I went to a gender reveal ultrasound because I was dying to basically be told it was a girl because I felt so good about it and so sure it was. Well they told us boy. I had to pretend to be excited until my husband and I walked out of the building. I immediately broke down in tears. I then talked myself out of the fact it was a boy and told myself it was “too early” for the scan and I should have waited until my 20 week ultrasound. Then I kept telling myself I’d be told at 20 weeks it would be a girl. That they can look too similar at 14 weeks and have myself hope still. Well that didn’t work out so well either. I went to my anatomy scan to be told it was a boy. A healthy baby boy made me happy but still the fact of a third boy. I left and cried alone for about two hours. I’m still having a hard time digesting the fact it’s another boy. I don’t like talking about it, I don’t want to decorate a room, I don’t want any kind of celebration, i don’t want to think about names, I don’t even want to announce it to all our friends and family because I’m already dreading hearing “another boy” “a third boy”. I still have another 20 weeks to come to the fact that it’s not going to change and it’s going to be a boy. It’s just going to take sometime and I honestly just need my time to be emotional and cry it out without being judged. I just want you to know it’s a real emotion and gender disappointment is a real thing. Many women go through it. You are NOT alone. I just pray it gets better before the baby comes because I’m afraid it’s going to leave me with postpartum depression.

Answer

During one of my pregnancies I was told I was having a girl after already having 2 boys I was devastated. I never really imagined myself with a daughter and am way more comfortable with the bond me and my boys have. I cried and ofcourse I was told to be grateful which I was. as a human with expectations and desires it is ok to be disappointed sometimes,  that doesn't mean you will love your baby any less. just a moment of sadness and then you get on with being a mom.

Answer

You are not alone . I cried when I was pregnant with my third . I have three boys . I thought he would also be my last . I was supposed to deliver with a high risk practice but long story short I had an emergency ended up having an emergency c section at 30 weeks in a catholic hospital and didn’t get my tubes tied. I cried when I found out with my third not Bc I was having a boy , but I cried at the fact that I’d never get to have a girl of my own , someone to have my nails done with and to play dress up with , someone to shop for prom dresses with . All the girly glitter and pink stuff we dream of . It’s ok . Cry all you want and need to , it doesn’t mean you won’t love him and less. My emmet , my third boy , I wouldn’t trade him for a girl , he is my little best friend , my snuggle buddy . I adore him . It’s ok , you can cry at the loss of an opportunity . There it nothing wrong with it . I’ve been there too .

Answer

I wasn’t excited as I could be hearing the gender. For me it was more over the fact that I was calling this a little boy from the moment I got two lines . When I saw the balloons come out I didn’t jump or scream in happiness. People posted on our video that we looked disappointed. I guess I want a girl but more then wanting a girl I want healthy. I keep telling myself this baby is what I’m meant to have. Plus my son wanted a boy, now he has a brother.

Answer

I was terrified I would feel like this if I was having a boy, I didn't ever want to feel like that about my child. I'm lucky im having the girl I wanted but think it's completely normal. A couple days to.letbit sink in and it'll all be ok

Answer

I had the same reaction when I found out j was having a boy. It's my first so I still have time, but it's okay to feel this way. Especially if you thought it was a girl, it is almost like a loss itself. Don't feel bad, go through the heartbreak and sadness. Even if I never have a girl, I'm extremely happy and blessed to at least have a child. and boys love their mommas. nothing like the bond between mom and son as you well know.

Answer

I was a bit disappointed too, but after the disappointment you get used to the fact, then when he is born you can’t imagine it any other way!!! You’ll meet him and fall in love, just like with your other boys.

Gender Disappointment?

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