Imma talk about this boy and refer to him as j. Now j and I started talking in December and shortly after we like hooked up (just making out). I really liked this kid. Anyways we were talking until February, we hooked up plenty of times, he was the first guy to ever touch me and the first guy I’ve ever touched (I’ve had my first kiss before him but nothing more). In February I was asking what we were because I mean we’ve been together for 2 months and we still haven’t talked about what we were. So he said that he was exclusive and I was like okay but what does that mean. Because to me exclusive is like almost the exact definition of a relationship. So he literally flat out told me that he only was with me to hook up. I cut things off with him after. We got back together a couple of times because I still really liked j and he said that he didn’t mean what he said. So at one point we decided to be friends and I was cool with it. We went out for a drive and ended up having sex. I lost my virginity to him. He asked to be inclusive (meaning that we could fuck Anyone we want) and my heart dropped. But we continued talking like before neither of us actually hooking up with other people. But then I met T. He’s a great guy but a really really bad kisser. Anyways so a couple of days ago I hooked up with J. And then an hour later T came downstairs and kissed me while j’s cum was basically still in my throat. So I told j what had happened he didn’t really care because technically we were still inclusive. I go to boarding school meaning that the likelihood of j and t talking about this is very high which I was fine with I didn’t really care. But j decided to tell t and 8 other people about it and decided to tell them that “she sucked my dick and swallowed my cum” making me seem like a total whore. So I found out by someone and had his big fight with j because it’s so disrespectful to me to bring my name up like that to a bunch of guys I don’t know. Anyways so j and I like literally break up I tell him to start sucking his own dick and all that jazz and he stopped talking to me. But then I got drunk and started calling him and sending him shit. I don’t remember. But he hasn’t talked to me at all. Yesterday I was talking to my friend and she told me that he had asked someone else out. Keep in mind j only asked me out once in the span of now 3 months we had been talking and been together. Guys I’m very sad and I don’t know what to do. I apologized to t because it was disrespectful. I hate j sometimes he treats me like shit but I always go crawling back to him I don’t know why. I know I can do better but I just want him.