who does not post their children on social media (facebook etc.)

Question

I do not want to post my baby who is due in May on social media. I have several personal reasons why, that babys father knows of, but he doesn't agree and says he will regardless of my wishes. I have not posted anything about my pregnancy(no bump pic, no announcement, nothing), but he wants to keep his family "in the loop". they all know, they all live relatively close, so I said send them a private message with updates and pictures when she's here (we too will have absolutely ONLY immediate family at the hospital after shes born) and that they can see her through messages. after being called ridiculous and absurd for my wishes, I thought I would ask what you ladies think because in all honesty, I'm pretty annoyed. thank you in advance!

Answer

I don’t think it’s outrageous, but if your partner doesn’t agree it’s not really fair saying you can’t post about your own child. And seems like everyone else is compromising for you but your not. How about just not posting loads, Just a photo every few weeks or something.

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I do, but not every one does and that's okay. Unfourtantly though, once she's born I don't think you can stop him from posting pictures because it's his daughter too and you don't have more rights just because you are the mom. I think the private message is a great compromise,  but I would be sad if my hubby wouldn't let me post pictures of our kids. They are my pride and joy and I want to show them off! We already have an 8 and 6 year old, so they have had their pictures posted several times lol. Good luck though!!

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I post photos, but understand when people don’t want to. One thing you and your husband could consider is a closed group on Facebook. My husband’s family has one that’s called Martin Family photos. We control who’s in it - just family. And we can post photos and videos so family all over the country can see. It’s worked really well

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I have family that, due to their professions, don't post their children. It wouldn't be worth a client getting vindictive and seeking their child out as revenge. They work in healthcare/mental health. 
Instead, the whole family knows not to post as well and they send a big quarterly newsletter updating about their kiddos, travels, etc and do a PDF photo collage. It works great and we all love it.

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Absolutely not. I don't agree with exposing kids to social media before they're able to consent themselves, and I know people how have received threats to their children because of social media. I've put the odd bump pic on Instagram stories, but that only lasts 24h and I have a private account. I haven't put anything on Facebook (and my privacy settings are high there too). Thankfully my husband fully agrees with me on this. Anyone who puts pics of our baby up without a sticker covering the face will be asked to remove it, family or not.

Answer

We will post pics of our baby on social media. I have a couple of bump pics out there already, we’ve made announcements, etc. With platforms like Facebook, you can change your privacy settings and set lists of private users. For example, there are things I post on social media that my coworkers don’t see. I understand your wishes and why you wouldn’t want pics of your baby on the internet, but (not trying to be rude) you don’t get to make that choice in your own. The baby’s father has as much of a day as you do, and it doesn’t sound like you guys are on the same page. So he’s going to post pics, and you’re going to end up in a losing battle because families stay connected through social media. Make your page private - request that he does the same, maybe - but you’re not going to be able to keep your child off social media.

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Well there is a legal side for you. As a parent you have the right to keep pictures of your child of the internet.  It's called the child privacy act. Legally no one can post pictures of a child under the age of 13 without parental consent. There is a $1500 fine I believe for anyone who violates that. When it comes to parent vs parent though that I'm not so sure of. I know with my ex husband it's actually in our custody agreement that pictures of our children on social media will be minimal. That's not even something either of us asked for. My lawyer just used a basic custody agreement as a precedent that is one thing that is commonly put in apparently. Because of my former job as a correctional officer I don't even have social media because of former inmates stocking me. After someone messaged me and actually comments on how my children lookef it freaked me out and I deleted everything. My kids school post pictures all the time of their students. I had to actual write a letter taking them they do not have consent to do so. If they violet that I have every intention of suing. Only because of my past experience.

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Im due April 3 and we will not be posting her pictures.

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I don’t really want to put up photos of my baby on line, but I have not 100% made up my mind. My account maybe but if someone is holding baby and is tagged in photo then all there friend can see, ect it just seams like it is to hard to keep things safe and private.

Answer

My social media tends to get used for work purposes a lot, so I don’t typically post much to begin with. As soon as I got my BFP, my husband and I jointly decided not to post anything to social media about our baby on the way. (It did cause me to really have to think to be sure I had told everyone that would be offended if they didn’t know I was expecting though!) I think once LO is here, we will probably post a picture or two on my husband’s social media but we aren’t heavy posters to begin with and I don’t plan on becoming one once LO is here. Have a very frank conversation with your SO and try to come to a compromise! I have a FB friend who only posts one picture a week of her son and has a cute hashtag for it. Maybe once a month or once every other week would work for you? I also see a lot of people who post but avoid posting the baby’s face. Good luck to you!!

who does not post their children on social media (facebook etc.)

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