I just need to get some things off my chest


So, I’ll say it in chronogical order.

At kindergarten, I had a really good friend, I’ll call her *Jenny*. Me and *Jenny* were really Close, and she was the first person where I slept over. The thing is that her family was really “free”, to say so (I don’t know the word anymore). Like Open-minded. They learnt *Jenny* all about sex and so on, and they would do sex even with her in the house, and sometimes she caught them and they were indifferent.

And with that, *Jenny* told me what sex was and so on (as a little child I didnt understand all of it, but still).

Where I wanted to arrive with this story is that she showed me some sexual things. I’m ashamed to tell this, but she even ate me out.

I heard my mom talk about what she did to me and so on a couple of weeks ago (she was talking to her friend and was “storytelling” this weird thing about my kindergarten friend). She was telling the one time I was at my step grandmother, and *Jenny* came with us too. And I heard that one day she was cleaning me up (my mom), and saw that the anus was larger than a kid of my age should have (that time). And with that, she talked with *Jenny*’s parents and ended our friendship.

I don’t remember what happened. I don’t remember much of it. But I don’t think I’d want to know.

And then in the 2nd grade me and mom moved for like a month with my cousin.

Some things happened. He was putting me over him, and I still remember that I could feel his d—k through the pants, he then asked me if I liked “how I stayed”. I was freaking out. If I wanted to run, he would catch my pants and grab me back. He was putting his hands under my undies too. And these things didn’t happen just one time, but multiple.

Thanks God I wasn’t raped.

The only thing that still happens with me is that I become nervous when older men/women approach me and tell me to stay over their knees (idk how is it called, but I think you know what I mean).

I still don’t like to meet with that cousin.

I never told anybody about these two things. I didn’t want to be seen as a Freak, pervert or anything like this.

Just one person knows about *Jenny*, but she knows just a very, very little bit.

I just wanted to free myself from these thoughts.