help..😔

I have dated boys before but I always feel like there’s something missing. I don’t always feel comfortable with them but I feel the same way when I’m around girls. ( with being uncomfortable) I wonder start to experience with girls then I might get that tiny connection that I have been missing or maybe I just suck at relationships. But I don’t want people to find out if I do because it’s high school!! I don’t want people to think that I’m desperate and I just “decided” to be attracted to girls. I’m scared and I don’t want people to start making rumors or finding out that I might like girls. What should I do? How can I experience without anyone knowing? How can I know if a girl is even gay or at least bi? Help a sister out please!!