giving up and losing hope....😢😢😢

.........why???😢😢😢😢

i been ttc off and on for 6 years.... but been almost 2 years solid now always disappointed when i get my period... i thought this was my month been 9 or 10 days late n all of a sudden i stared spoting just notice when i wipe light pink.. im tried of trying n get depressed that my husband said he gonna start ising condoms so we dont gotta go thir this no more im pretty sure he was playing so he get a smart remark from me so i laugh but it still hurt everytime af comes.. why me????? why cant i just have one im 30 n never been pregnant ever😢😢😢