I don’t like porn in my relationship. I think it’s disrespectful, hurtful, degrading, gives unrealistic expectations, and eventually leads to difficulty with sex in real life. I had trouble with this in the past with ex’s - and I told my boyfriend fairly upfront that I wasn’t ok with it. He knows my feelings and views towards it. It was up to him if he wanted to respect that and he even promised he agreed with what I said. (I never told him to stop or gave an ultimatum) But if he continued I would leave the relationship because that’s just not something I’m looking for. (I didn’t tell him this)

Well, it’s the third time now I’ve caught and just told him that that’s not something I’m looking for, apologized, and said that I couldn’t do it. I don’t like the sneaking around, lying, hiding from me, and breaking promises when porn comes into the picture.

He has hinted before that he had a problem with it. Well, yesterday he told me he has an addiction. He said that the addiction has been there “forever”. He says that he understands my feelings and wants to stop but its hard. He asked for my help and said that he wants to work through it and get over it together. I love him so I’m choosing to try but I have no idea how to help him or how to trust him.

(Just an FYI, it has affected our sex life, he would get soft during sex because he didn’t have porn and then blame it on me, he would chose it over me sometimes, and even do it while I was in the house. I told him I would send him pictures/videos but he never asks and when I send them he barely comments) I feel incredibly hurt.

How do you get over a porn addiction?