Am I the bad person? LONG POST

I've posted on here a few times before about this issue. Not the exact same way because it's been a few months since my most recent post about this, so things have changed.

My boyfriend and I are both 19 in college. We've been together for a little over 2 years. We are honor students and have never really gotten in trouble like any sort of law breaking or anything close. Really the most we've ever done is gotten into small school fights in elementary school, so we're not bad students or people. My boyfriend never even raises his voice to anyone. We both still live with our parents because we don't want to add on $8,000 in debt from living in an apartment or dorms.

Now here's the problem. His dad got remarried to a woman with two young kids (Now ages 6 and 11). While his dad has two older kids (My boyfriend which is 19 and his brother who is 17). Which the age differences aren't really a big deal. But I just thought I'd give that out for perspective.

When I first started dating my boyfriend his step mom was the absolute sweetest. She would let us go on dates when we wanted as long as he was back home by 10pm. It was great. And she would kindly ask my boyfriend to babysit her kids when he had nothing planned and didn't have work. We all got along great! It felt like she was my mom (my bio mom is never around, so I don't have a relationship with her) and she was so easy to talk to.

This past summer we graduated high school and enrolled in college classes. Because of work schedules and the summer class I took, the only day we could really do anything was Sundays when I got off work between 6-7. We usually went out to eat or went to this little drive in movie theater that we adored. If we went out to eat we usually went bowling afterwards. So no matter what we did we were mostly out until 10-11. His step mom and dad were fine with it. Just as long as he was quiet and didn't come in at like 3am. Which we never did.

Nothing was ever said about it until the week before Thanksgiving (November) when his step mom absolutely blew up. I was on the phone with my boyfriend that day and had asked if we could go out to eat after we saw a play that night for a college class we had. The play started at 6 and ended at 8:30 and we both had to work until 5:30, so there was no time to eat before. So while I was on the phone he went to ask his step mom if we could eat when the play ended (he brought the phone with him, so I heard what she said). She yelled at him for 10 minutes about how disrespectful he was being and about how he had to be home by 9:00 now because she said that (at the time) 18 year olds don't need to be out so late (10-11pm). What? Oh I was FURIOUS! She had not said a single word about being home by 9 anytime before and suddenly it's a huge deal?

I was upset and so was my boyfriend because now his curfew, excluding Friday and Saturday nights, was set at 9 unless he had to work. Most weekends he works until midnight and throughout the week I usually either work until 9 or am in a night class until 8:30. I was so mad!

My boyfriend and I talked about it and decided that we needed to give it a shot and hope for the best that things would get better.

And things did get better for a while. From January to just last week things were fine. They told my boyfriend that he didn't need to ask to go on dates anymore, just be home by midnight on weekends. That was great! We went out on a couple Sundays and stayed out until around 10 and no complaints!

Well, until last Sunday. My boyfriend and I decided to go out earlier that evening since I got off work early so we decided to drive to this really nice photography spot and then out to a movie and then out to dinner. When he asked to go out Sunday no one said a word about being back by 9 (he had me on the phone again, so I heard). They just said to be back by midnight. Well, my boyfriend would have been home at 10, but my grandma kept talking to him about college and this and that (she loves him!), so he wasn't about to tell her he couldn't talk when they told him just to be home by midnight. He got home at 10:30.

The next day we went to classes and I went to work. My boyfriend babysits his step mom's kids when he gets out of class (also gets up at 6:30 to make sure they eat and get on the bus) because he's always home by 2 and babysits u too he goes to work or his step mom gets home, whichever comes first. Which he does mind some because they fight constantly and he has homework to do, so it gets in the way, but he doesn't say anything to her about it.

Well, that Monday she gets home, calls for him in the kitchen and yells and cusses at him for 15 minutes. Why? Because he was out past 9. He said he tried to tell her he must have made a mistake (because they hadn't said anything about the other two recent Sundays we were out past 9 and how they made the comment about being home by midnight), but she wouldn't listen! She just called him worthless and disrespectful and that he never does anything around the house and that he has no responsibilities! I was pissed when I heard this! He has been diagnosed with depression, so it really hit him hard for her to say all of those awful things to him.

Then she told him his curfew is now 8:30 since he doesn't "deserve" to be out until 9. Omg you let his 17 (still in high school) year old brother stay out until 10 on school nights! His brother does not babysit or do anything around the house besides occasionally cook. He's never even at the house!

Alright fast forward to this past Tuesday. It was my 19th birthday and my boyfriend asked them if he could come to my party. All it was was family and him just eating at home and going bowling. He had to text her the Friday before and ask because he was going to be at work by the time she got home. Her response? "I don't know, can you be home by 8-8:30?" UMMM my party couldn't even start until 6 because my family works throughout the week! He texted her probably not and then stated the reasons why. She texted back that she'd have to think about it.

Well, that Sunday she finally said that it would be okay if he stayed for my party and bowling. BUT he had to babysit the day of my birthday instead of going out with me and going to an arcade like we had originally planned. Fine whatever.

Okay so my birthday arrived and all was going good. Right before we left for bowling we had an idea to ask to still go to the arcade after bowling because that arcade was our original plan we were supposed to do that day. Well he just texted her and asked if it would have been okay and that we would be back no later than 10:30. Her response??

"No, *boyfriends name*. Now I know you don't get the kids up in the morning for school since you're in college now, but *boyfriends brother* does and it would be very disrespectful of you to come in so late. Should I let him stay out until whenever he wants? How would that be fair to my own kids? They'd like to stay up past 8:30, but I don't let them, so why should I let you stay out later than what I already allotted you?"

GUYS AM I IN THE WRONG FOR THINKING SHE IS INSANE?? HIS BROTHER IS 17 AND HAS CLASSES EARLY IN THE MORNING SHE ALREADY LETS HIM STAY OUT UNTIL 10! HER KIDS ARE FREAKING 6 and 11 SO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM???

Then a minute later, my boyfriend responds with, "Okay, I'll be back home after we bowl".

To which she replies with, "Don't get smart with me you know I don't take kindly to that. Have some respect for me!"

Then a minute later, "Do whatever you want, I don't care."

I was SO mad! She could have just said no instead of being so passive aggressive! My BOYFRIEND wakes her kids up! Her kids have nothing to do with this! She lets his brother stay out late! She doesn't say shit to his brother!

Am I in the wrong for being so mad over this? It's insane isn't it???

*His dad doesn't know about ANY OF THIS and my boyfriend wants to tell him, but should he??*