5 years ago on Valentine’s Day I found out I was pregnant... I was only about 3wks along at that time... going further into my pregnancy I had seen multiple doctors due to me having rheumatoid arthritis. At about 9wks I had 3 different doctors tell me that my condition was so severe considering it’s also an autoimmune disease, that the baby was feeding off of my body like a parasite and slowly starting to shut down and kill my organs. That being said, I had to make a choice because the ultimate factor would have been, one or both of us wouldn’t have made it.... well fast forward to 5yrs late which is now, I’m with someone I’m going to spend forever with and we have been trying to get pregnant for 6 months and have yet to even have a scare.. I’m finally in remission and have been a little over a year, I’m on no medication for the first time in 10yrs and all my blood work and organ functions came back perfect. I have this feeling that maybe choosing to give up my first baby, is haunting me now and karma is saying “not gonna Happen”. It’s hard to believe i could get pregnant off of one drunken night years ago, but can’t with someone I’m seriously trying with....