My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years, and have been friends even longer. We've gone through soooooo much together. But I never thought the day would come.

Yesterday started like a normal day. We hung out with his mom and stepdad, went out to eat at Pizza Hut. We both got hotwings which is nothing new for us since we both love spicy food. A few hours after we got home, man my stomach was going crazy. Growling left and right. I knew I had to shit.

So I go into the bathroom, and turn on my music as loud as I can. I swear I poop better to Queen Bey.

But gah damn lemme tell ya. This was no ordinary deuce. I felt like I was peeing out of the wrong hole. I hear his footsteps coming down the hall towards our room... and right then...

I let one RIP. I thought my music was up enough to where he didn't hear it.

I see his name pop up on my phone..

AFTER ALMOST 5 YEARS, THIS MAN FINALLY HEARD ME RIP ASS. And he will not let me live it down. RIP to me.