Today I performed a violin solo for a judge to get graded. That grade determines if I get to preform for state judges or not. Now, I'm in 8th grade. So I'm not a professional. I was playing for the judge and my teacher, who was my accompanist, looked at me with a big smile and a large nod.

I thought I did good.

The judge asked me how long I've been playing violin. I said "6 years." He sighed and then shook his head saying, "for someone who's been playing for 6 years you should be better."

That was a slap in the face. I just nodded really unable to say anything else. Then he said "do you have a private lessons teacher?"

I said "no I can't afford one." Then, he said "that explains why you sound bad compared to other kids your age. Or even younger."

I was close to crying and my legs were shaking. He wrote down a 3 (3 being the worst grade, 1 being the best) and gave it to my saying "You don't need a private lessons teacher to sound okay. So sound okay."

I looked down at my paper and he had written down on every section (intonation, tone, dynamics, etc.) "not good"

I spent the next 10 minutes splashing water on my face and trying not to cry. I feel like I let down my teacher and my mom, and my friend who helped me with my solo piece. I'm ashamed of myself