Experiencing the last 6 weeks of pregnancy alone

Allie

He packed a bag and left me, our unborn son and our home for someone else. Sometimes I feel like I'm coping alright, considering the gravity of the situation. At other times the pain and anger are unbearable. I'm taking my meds still, and finally starting to gain the weight back that I lost from food aversion and dehydration from the first week of grieving.

I was so happy. Apparently he was not. I didn't see it coming, but I probably should have in retrospect. Now I'm doing my best to move forward bravely but I break down when I realize I don't have my best friend to confide in anymore.

My mind swings from not wanting him to come back to hoping he'll show up at the door to tell me he fucked up royally... and then back to dreading that moment if he ever does. My heart says he's still the good guy I knew, just stuck in a bad place mentally and emotionally. My logic says he's an asshole deserter that bails when life gets difficult.

I want off this nightmare rollercoaster.