It's been 4 months since my boyfriend and I miscarried. March 25 marks 4 months not to mention my grandmother passed 2 years ago on March 23rd at 3am. So March just isn't my month. I had a dream a few nights ago where I saw my grandmother and she was holding a beautiful babygirl and was telling me everything was going to be alright and that the baby she was holding was mine. I remember how real it felt and how gorgeous she was. If I hadn't miscarried then her name would've been Daisy Jai Coulson. If it was a boy his name would've been Darious Benjamin Coulson... Everyday I think about what our life could've been if only I hadn't lost my child. I am struggling with it so hard because the only person I can talk to about it is my boyfriend. My mother does not know and my counselor does not know either... My boyfriend won't talk about it because of how hard it is for him as well so I unfortunately have to carry this alone. I journal about it and I cry when I need to but it's caused me to be depressed, I cannot leave the house or my anxiety gets the best of me, I do not find joy in the thing that I used to find joy in. I went to church on Wednesday for the first time in a while & it was so overwhelming. I decided that I'd try to get back into my faith however the only problem is that my mom does not have a religion there for it will be hard for me to get to and from church. So that is only adding stress... please if you have any advice for me I would greatly appreciate it....