Depressed

I’m 14 weeks pregnant and wow! Haven’t I got a lot of shit going on. 1st of all I’m 19 and this is my first baby, me and the dad was dating and I ended up getting caught pregnant however it was a massive shock to him and also to me. I don’t want to go to much into detail because I really do not want to get judged. All I can say is we are all human and make mistakes. (I’m not talking about my baby) my baby means everything and more to me, the love is indescribable and I haven’t even had my baby yet. But anyway the father was adamant he didn’t want anything to do with the baby. My mum ended up contacting his family and they seem nice, they said they will support me and the baby and they want everything to do with the baby. However he’s still trying to get his head around it so I’m leaving him to that. I’m not going to argue with him because that doesn’t do anyone any favours it just makes situations worse. Also before I got caught pregnant I suffered from depression, I felt suicidal, I didn’t know what I could possibly do to feel better. All I did was cry because I was stuck and didn’t know what to do. The moment I found out I was pregnant was honestly surprisingly the best day of my entire life knowing I have this beautiful life inside of me growing and i can call him/her mine. None of my family were happy, people were trying to talk me into abortion but I didn’t want one. And I’m not selfish because I’m going to do the best I possibly can for my baby. I understand they were in shock and angry and upset with me and I accepted that! Now my mum and my nana and grandad have come to terms with it. We are picking baby stuff our, talking about names, what sex we think its going to be and it’s lovely. But some of my family members are very selfish, all they do is push me down, call me horrible names, make me feel low about myself and it’s slowly bringing my depression back and it’s getting worse every single day. I didn’t get invited to my cousins birthday neither, my auntie told me never to speak to her again because I ring my nana and tell her I’m depressed. My auntie says I shouldn’t ring my nana telling her how I feel but my nana is the only one who helps me and speaks to me. Its getting to the point where I can’t get out of bed in the morning and now my mum is starting to worry because she thinks I will be like this when the baby comes. I am going to the doctors and I’m going counselling so I’m taking actions of my emotions but I just feel selfish for feeling sad all of the time when my baby is such a beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me and the love is unreal. Please don’t judge me I just need a friend or someone who understands what I’m going through. I feel like I have nobody and the pain is awful.