This is baby number 2, with my first I wasn’t able to bond well before birth making it very difficult to bond with her after birth, I always saw other women holding their bellies during yoga and smiling or how they were so excited they couldn’t wait to meet their baby, every small little thing they were so excited about, and I was thrilled for them but just couldn’t bond with my own belly that way. After my daughter was born I wanted nothing to do with her, didn’t want to hold her after birth, didn’t cry tears of joy, the heavens didn’t open up (don’t get me wrong I love her more than anything in this world she is my pride and joy and my princess who I would die for) , but I developed severe post partum depression and had to even be on antipsychotics for a while because I didn’t even know what day it was and I was hallucinating. I don’t want that again and although my daughter was unplanned this baby was very much planned. I was very excited to conceive and ecstatic when I found out we had, but for some reason it’s even harder this time to bond. I’m 17 weeks and don’t even acknowledge the fact I’m pregnant the majority of the time because I’m not bonded with my belly, I can’t find names , don’t care about the majority of what happens while being pregnant this time and I only ever worry that this baby is okay. I love the baby and pray everything is okay every day but that’s really about it. I can’t see myself holding this baby or taking care of it, it’s hard to even order things I know baby needs, (I had to fight myself to order a car seat last week! ) I plan on talking to a therapist but does anyone have any tips for bonding with baby while still pregnant? I really want to be that mother that her baby is born and the heavens open and there has never been a better day. Right now I just really need support and tips. Anything ladies?? ☹️

Here is a picture of me and my baby girl but it took months after she was born for me to want to be a mother to her or feel like a mother to her. I don’t want that again.