nervous

today I have my first ultrasound. but I'm so nervous this time around I'm trying to be positive and be optimistic but it's so hard especially since with my first loss we saw the heartbeat at 8 weeks were told everything was okay (I'm about 8 weeks right now) and then 3 weeks later I passed my baby as clumps of tissue. I don't know when my baby actually died.

it so hard being at work today with my appointment in a few hours since I'm scared, nervous and anxious. But I'm hoping everything goes well with this pregnancy since I know if anything happens I'm going to feel like a failure again....