First Day Alone

Today is the first day my husband goes back to work. He works the night shift at the hospital so I have to be sure he gets his sleep when he is home. So today is the first day that I have to take care of the baby on my own. I'll be up all day, probably all night, and then all day again while he sleeps. He works 12 hour shifts so on his work week he usually just works and sleeps with no time in between. Up until now he has been taking her at night while I get sleep and then I take her for the day.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't super nervous. She doesn't sleep in her bassinet and I don't feel safe letting her sleep in her boppy while I am not coherent. I don't foresee any sleep for myself over the next 36 hours. I guess I'm mostly nervous I'll lose my mind in all the crying if she gets super fussy.

Today didn't start off great. I realized I was out of clothes for her too late and then as soon as I changed her clothes and put her in my boba she had an explosive diaper. So then I had to bathe her which was a bit difficult (I had forgotten the soap so it turned into a rinse) Then I'm blundering about, stubbing my toes and just having a hard day. Shes been pretty fussy today too.

I'm sure I'll probably get through the 36 hours just fine, but I figured I'd just write my feelings somewhere to hopefully get some nerves out. Soon my husband will be working 2-4 nights in a row, and I just don't know how I will function. Giant kudos to people who do this alone from the get go. I still forget to eat and drink most of the day. And I barely get my house chores done.