Pls help

So I have anxiety and depression, and lately my anxiety has been really bad. Yesterday at school I was feeling really really depressed to the point when voices in my head were telling me to kill my self. I also really really really wanted to cut but I stopped my self for nearly the whole day. I knew I couldn’t self harm physically so was thinking about how to self harm mentally so I ended up asking this boy out (who I really like) so I could feel the burn of rejection. But instead of him saying something like “I don’t like you” he didn’t say anything and just looked at me with a poker face. I walked outside and started crying which was weird because I haven’t been able to cry lately. Later in the day he asked if I was ok I said “no” and he didn’t say anything and just walked away. After that I tried to do my work but I couldn’t get the idea of cutting out of my head so I got my scissors and walked out of class and into the bathroom and started to cut and cry. My friend from another class saw me go into the bathroom and ran in and stoped me from cutting. I told her about the guy and she told him that “I was fragile” and to “be careful”😰.

I don’t know what to do pls help...

Btw I cut at least once a week and I’m 14 and live in Australia

Thanks♥️♥️♥️