My art therapist only instruction was to create a place in this box for when I look at it, and open it, I feel happy and safe.

After months and months of therapy and putting this project on hold for a while as I processed through my pain, I came back to it again and again. I added pine cones from my back yard, added moss because I’m obsessed. And leaves lots of leaves. My safe place has always been a secret garden. Preferably with lots of moss.

So after doing other art projects and putting this aside,as I processed, (couldnt do this project when I was really sad or anxious) today I finished it and added flowers.

I walked out today, with this wooden box in my hand, feeling accomplished.

“I just had a breakthrough I thought”

“ I’m feeling confident”

My therapist said “look at all the changes you’ve made in a week. Spring is coming”

I said “change is coming”

You see I never saw the box with flowers.

I didn’t want to be happy. Or work on my box because that would show that I’m working on my self. I knew that the poor craftsmen-ship would show through how I’m really feeling . So I put it off. But today I felt like I was slaying it. Had hard conversations with people and told them how I feel this week ( boss and then a good friend) . I Fought through the fear and anxiety that consumes me everyday and said “I can’t let fear control me anymore. I’m in control.” I can remove my self from any situation and get through anything bc I already have been through a lot” . 4 months of therapy and I’m finally seeing my confidence. My hope?

I suffered a miscarriage. A loss in October.and haven’t been the same since.

But I’m standing up to my fear and not letting it control me, in every aspect of my life.🌻I’m just trying over here.

Growth =hope