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Thinner doesn't always mean Happier 💕✌

Hey all-

I've seen lots of posts in here about people striving to have that toned body, when in reality they already look amazing.

I wanted to share my thoughts, my two cents, my experience. I have been into lifting for several years. I decided last year that I would FINALLY compete in Bikini at an NPC show last year. I started off at 5'6" and 140 lbs. My stage weight ended up being 115lbs. I looked AMAZING. But, I didn't think I looked nearly good enough to do well. Despite having a 6 pack, I wondered if I was lean enough to win. These are definitely thoughts on a "prep brain", being obsessed with every inch of fat on your body. Overall, I loved the experience and I was never miserable on my 11 week prep. I gave all my hardest efforts leading up to the day I stepped on stage. I ended up placing 1st place in both divisions I competed in, Novice and Bikini. I was over the moon, and it was then that I finally realized and was proud of the hard work I put in.

The hardest part is dealing with your body AFTER the show. After the fun is over, you're left with a super toned body that is impossible to maintain. I gained 10 lbs in 24 hrs (mostly due to being super dehydrated before the show). I was quickly back up to my pre-show weight of 140 within 2 months. This was a mind-fuck, honestly. I kept looking at progress pics from during prep wishing I would've kept up with being toned and lean. I kept thinking about how confident I felt in my clothing and how everything felt "big" on me.

Moral of the story, I only recently became so

comfortable in my body. I have always struggled with body image, and wondering if I could look "skinnier". I finally realized that having a 6 pack was wonderful and all, but what is more wonderful is being able to enjoy going out to dinner, going out for drinks, and not worrying about every calorie you put in your body. In life there is a balance and you have to find it. To all of the ladies who are worried about that "small amount of fat" on their legs, stomach, hips. Who cares! If you hate it, find a program that works for you but don't go to the extreme to just lose that small amount of fat. Is it really going to make you more confident? Or will you always worry about a small spot on your body that you dislike? You need to learn to love yourself before you will ever be happy in your body. I was happy with a 6 pack, but not TRULY happy. I am 100x happier weighing 140lbs knowing how to have a HEALTHY relationship with food, and knowing that I have self control when I need it.

Here are pics below of my pre and post show journey 😁