I feel so stupid

My boyfriend of three years just admitted that he cheated on me two weeks ago. He confessed because the guilt was eating him alive. I reacted by screaming, yelling, hitting, and kicking him out of my house. I stopped talking to him for a few days. But I just realized that I still love and want him in my life. I don't know what to think. All of my friends told me to completely cut him off and never talk to him again but that's easier said than done. He was my first everything. My first kiss, my first boyfriend, my first true love, the first person I ever had sex with. We've created so many memories with one another and I still want him in my life, even though I shouldn't. We're planing to meet later this week to talk things over because they ended so badly. I'm just afraid that when I see him my emotions will take over and I'm scared I might hook up with him, just so I can feel his touch and love again. I don't know what to do. I feel so stupid for wanting him back. I really need help I don't know what to do.