This is gonna cause a shit load of hatred towards myself which is why I chose to go anonymous. Its also long..

Lets be real. I AM IN LOVE WITH MY BABY DADDY. But theres a side of him thats a bit scary.

He has such a humble and sweet soul and is loved by everyone in my family. He works hard for our family and does almost anything I ask him too. Well so he used too.

It’s been 5 years since we started dating and we have 2 handsome sons. Our family couldnt be more perfect to me.

About a year ago, we got into a HUUUGE argument over him being in the dark with a girl at a party that he claimed to have fooled around with before. When it happened, and I confronted him, she was ALL over him, putting her arms between his and rubbing her leg all over his. When I got closer, she immediately backed away saying “it wasnt what it looked like” and he just stood there dumbfounded. Didnt even try to shake her off or move away from her so when I asked him wtf, he just stared at me like he didnt do anything wrong. later that evening, i found myself crying in the back of our house while he continued to party with his friends and acting like nothing just happened. I felt sooo hurt.

Fast forward to today, his 1st cousin has always been there for me ever since that had happened. And i told myself i would neverrr do such a thing like cheating, especially with his 1st cousin, but wver since that Happened, its like my baby daddy doesnt care anymore. He does whatever he wants even when I ask him not too. I have had countless of nights with him not being home cuz he’s always out with his friends. And his cousin is always there for me. I literally ball out crying on his shoulder and he doesn’t judge me. Sometimes, he’s here for me more than my own baby daddy. I just need advice guys. I feel myself catching feelings for his cousins and I know its soo wrong but it feels soo right.