Wanting to be a mom

I know I’m young. I know that many people may not understand. I have wanted to be a mom since I can remember.

I wanna look into my SOs eyes while we listen to the baby’s heartbeat. Laugh and cry while we set up a nursery. Shop for our little pumpkin together. I want to feel his hand over my belly as the baby kicks. I want to be in the labor room with him telling him we are never doing this again. The have that overwhelming feeling when that baby is on my chest.

Yes some of this may be from a miscarriage two years ago. The longing for that baby. But sometimes I think it’s more than that. I want to be the mom I have always wanted. I know it’s not all going to be a bed of roses. But I want the hard times too.

I want to be up all night. I want to have to discipline a toddler. I want to have to put my foot down to a child. I want have to have the hard talks with a teenager.

Rant over