In a terrible situation

I guess this would ve the most appropriate place to put this even though I'm not really angry. I honestly don't know what I'm feeling.

I just gave birth on Monday. I broke up with my boyfriend and the baby's father last night. I was in a highly toxic relationship and some of it was my fault. I know that it was which is probably why I stayed in it so long. We went through a lot in the 2 years we were together including the possibility of him having a baby by someone else. We both cheated but I never actually had sex with anyone else (he did).

When I got pregnant he started to think that the baby wasn't his because the due date didn't add up to him. He already thought that I was sleeping with someone else and that I was just lying to him about it. A lot happened between me finding out I was pregnant and now that is really really long for me to get into.

I am currently in the hospital and when I left him last night he threw all of my stuff and the baby's things outside and left it there. This was at like 3 or 4 in the morning. I had no way of getting it because he had my car and the only family I have is 2 hours away and they werent even awake for me to get them to. come help me. I am now stuck with nothing and I had literally everything everything I needed for her. I don't even care about the stuff really, its all material but all of the things I had were given to me. So everything that other people have bought me and given givenme is gone.

I have the most important thing and thats my baby I know that. I would've left it all in a heartbeat if it was just me that was going to suffer for it. I don't know what to do. I feel like it is all my fault and now others have to suffer because I messed up.

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