Family pictures...but not my family?

Question

Okay so my husbands ex wife (his children’s mom) is planning family pictures in June with her and her husband, her other 2 kids, his child, and my husbands 2 children. She asked me to come as well. It makes me happy she wants to include me, but I’m not part of her family. I know it sounds bad but I don’t consider my step children as my kids. My husband 100% supports that. They’re very selfish and spoiled kids, they hardly enjoy coming over on weekends since I’ve been in the picture. I treated them like my own in the beginning and gave them SO much love. They walked all over me and used that so I stopped. I still make it a fun time when they come over and do everything I can to make it enjoyable. But I honestly can’t wait until they turn 18. I think my husband feels the same. Their mom just hasn’t allowed him to be a true dad. Should I go and take the family pics and suck it up? It just feels weird to me.
EDIT: I grew up with step parents and they were never super involved. They were there and I loved them, but I didn’t consider them parents and I wasn’t their child. There is NOTHING wrong with that. I’ve only been in their lives 1 year. I am not their mom. I see them twice a month, maybe. Yes I provide for them and treat them like family. I’ve been nothing but good to them. They are extremely disrespectful kids and I honestly don’t care to go the extra mile because I have before and they don’t care. Their mom is a piece of trash and hated me when I met her until she got to know me and knew I was a good person. She feels threatened I’m going to become a mom to her kids and she doesn’t like it. So yeah, they’re not my kids. I know they’re family but it still doesn’t feel right going. The kids have said they don’t care if I’m there or not.
EDIT 2: Y’all obviously have never been a step mom to 10 year olds at the age of 23 and dealing with an extremely horrible and bitchy ex wife. It’s not fun. It’s hard. I’ve poured my heart into these kids and now I’m done. DH is done. They won’t even come see us now because they got in trouble last weekend ONCE. We’ve never gotten onto them before but had to due to their attitude and now they won’t come see their own father because of that. Again, they are NOT MY KIDS

Answer

You need to put aside whatever feelings you have towards your stepchildren, and be the mom you want them to remember you as. They still have a lot of growing up to do, and may turn out to be amazing adults. Go co-parent like a boss, and don't withhold love for a child because of their behavior, it hurts you too.

Answer

That’s sad that as their mother, you don’t view them as your children. Even if they are spoiled, and they aren’t biologically yours. I’m sure they are well aware and you’re going to make them resent you for it. But that’s your business and I won’t judge. As for the pictures, you should go. You ARE family, you just don’t want to be

Answer

Them turning 18 is not going to change anything lol..you think when that happens he is gonna quit being their dad?!  Chances are they will become an even bigger part of his life-I say his life because it seems you don't want them in yours..if you have only been together a year, try to understand from a child's point of view they may still feel uncomfortable with you or even resent you-which is perfectly normal..they are kids dude

Answer

Nothing is ever about you. Its about the kids regardless of how you feel. Suck it up and go

Answer

Yes you should go. You and the mother of the children should have a good relationship and this is one way not to ruin it.

Answer

"No ones been a step parent, so no one can understand", are you kidding me, just take a look at divorce rates and reevaluate your mind for a second. ALL kids can be brats, ALL kids say things out of anger when they are punished. I can tell you are 23 (immature 23). Man, it really fires me up, you just explaining how you feel about these kids, because no matter how nice and fun you make it sound that you are, clearly, how you feel, they can see. You say their mother is the problem, yet seems to be including you as family, and going out of her way; than you have the audacity to criticize her as a mother?!? When they turn 18, they are still his kids, the responsibility of a father, never goes away. I think it's in everyone's best interest, for you to leave; as you seem to be the problem by the things you're saying. 
Here's an example of how you should be feeling: we are currently going through a 4 year court battle for my oldest child (not my husbands biological child)... I have NEVER in the 8 years married, 10 years together, seen my husband cry. Just recently, discussing the case, he broke down, bawling.... He explained that not only is he concerned for our sons well-being, but scared of his rights of being a dad being diminished. Our situation is different than yours, but the amount of love he has for our son, should be the same amount you have for your step-children. 
I was also raised by my step-dad... Let me tell you, he is my daddy! He did everything for me that a biological dad would do. He stepped up to the plate when he had to, he punished me, loved me, helped me with homework, tucked me in bed, worked his butt off to ensure my material needs were cared for.
Maybe you jumped into this marriage far too quickly, because you should have been at the point of loving his children as your own before you married. He wasn't an individual, he was a package deal. You married him and his children. Stop being selfish, go to the photo shoot and participate! If your husband agrees with this behavior you're showing, he's not much of a father; I pray their mother married a good man that has taken on that example.

Answer

To be honest I wouldn’t go lol I understand exactly what you mean by saying they aren’t your children. I mean it’s the truth, you’re with their dad that doesn’t make you their mom. You should do what feels right for you.

Answer

I’m sorry but I think that’s horrible of you to think of the kids like that

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When you married him you married his past. Do not let him just give up wanting to be with kids because they are brats. They are KIDS. They are mad about the situation. Give it time. Eventually those kids will grow up and stop being brats. Go take the family photos not going proves them right that you will probably be temporary in their life or that you are stealing their dad.

Answer

I don’t see what it hurts if you go and stand in a picture. Maybe she hopes your relationship with them will improve as you mature? Want them to be or not, they are your husbands kids and will always be his kids.

Family pictures...but not my family?

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