Miscarriage at almost 12 weeks

I needed a place to talk about this and vent. So this just happened today. I was having some light pink spotting early in pregnancy about 6-8 weeks went into my ob had ultrasound all was well they said. The spotting had gone away.I even saw our sweet babies strong healthy heart beat at 165. Then day before my scheduled dr apt for my 12 week check up It happens.... Yesterday at work I was having sever back pain on one side and some sharp pains near my ovary area but no bleeding. I thought it was strange but maybe some growing pains. I go to sleep and at midnight this morning I go pee and have the bathroom light off.... I notice the tp looks dark so I flip on the light only to realize it’s blood and the toilet water is red. I wake my husband up and we head to 24 hr Er. The lady informed us we could wait one half hour for on call ultrasound tech or go to Ob when they opened. I went to my Ob this am they did an ultrasound and found out there was no heart beat and baby had stopped Growing at 9 weeks. I am beyond devastated all my ideas and plans and hopes... not to mention knowing the baby hasn’t been growing for 3 weeks and my body is just now releasing the baby is hard to swallow. Let me tell you the pain is something else!! I screamed and literally had fluid and blood all over my car on the ride home..... I’m just really upset heart broken. I don’t understand I have two healthy kids but I did nothing different..... I just want to be pregnant and us have our baby.