My mom doesn’t like me

Jeez I hope this wont end up being too long. I am already tearing up from writing this. Letsnjust start by saying I love my mom. I really do. She was in an abusive relationship with my dad. There were so many nights of screaming, crying, and me as a kid, trying to understand why. I didn’t. My mom recently got married, maybe 3 years ago to a guy. We’ll call him Todd. Todd was abusive as well, but I was older then and I understood at least a little bit more. Todd sold drugs, got my brother to sell drugs, and was also very abusive towards my mother. I remember one night I texted my boyfriend that Todd was nothing but a no good drug dealer. My mom saw it and got so angry with me. I sat in the bathroom and cried and cried and cried. I tried texting her that I was sorry and she responded by saying to leave her alone and she wanted nothing to do with me. I was 13. I tried apologizing and she would not for the love of god talk to me. I felt like I had lost my mother. I was only 13. I needed my mother. There were times where when I knew he would come home and try and hit my mom, I stood in her room and would not budge. I stood by my moms side through it all. She knew how we all felt about Todd but she didnt care. He took her from us. She was so wrapped up into Todd, that we barely got any time with her at all. My mom was already a little negligent before Todd, she would go out and club every other night and leave me and my little sister at home. Okay so anyways, one night, things got pretty heated between Todd and my mom and he picked up a weapon. I called the police and things just went downhill from there. I thought I was doing the right thing but not to her. To her I just caused a problem. We moved to North Dakota, where we are now, and we told her we didnt want him back. Well, he’s back. He hasnt been abusive, but it still isnt fair that she forced him back onto us even after we told her we didnt want him back in our lives. Til this day my mom has a problem with me. I am now 16 and I am a middle child. I feel trapped and I dont know what to do. She starts drinking and lashes out on me, ME, the child that stood there with her through it all. I dont understand why she has such a big problem with me. Nobody understands. I have an older sister but she agrees with my mom. Nobody defends me when my mom picks on me. I just got a job so I have been busy, and my room hasnt been clean. As a result she took my makeup and my wig glue which I need because my hair is transitioning from heat damage and I need my wig. She took them and said thats what I get for not having a clean room. But I go to school, come home, go to work until like 10:30 so I rarely have time. She doesnt treat my other siblings this way. And they all sit back and watch it. I finally have a day off so I am cleaning my room spotless and she decides to lash out on me, the day I have time to actually clean. This is only one of the many things she has done. Another includes her telling me she is over me and doesn’t have anything to say to me when I brought up that I dont like the way her husband talks to my younger sister. Its a constant battle with her and I feel stuck. I have contemplated suicide on multiple accounts because of her. She doesnt think she is doing anything wrong. I am so depressed and she doesn’t believe me. I finally got the courage to cut my hair and Iwbas so excited to tell her today and she didn’t care. I get good grades and always come to her about them but she shows no feeling. There are times where I will be talking to her and she will just completely ignore me, as if I am not even there. I’m trying to pull through until I can leave. But it is getting hard. Can you guys please tell me it will be okay. Please. I really need it right now. my boyfriends mom is so nice to me but my mom banned me from going over there so I have nobody right now please guys just tell me a joke or something idk anything. Please. I am crying out for help and I need to be heard. Just say anything, anything at all.