Cheating?? (Kinda)

My boyfriend messaged his friend the other night asking him to “find some bitches” because he needed to get laid. His friend said he had this girl but he wasn’t sure and my boyfriend said he’d pay her because he was “so desperate”. His buddy asked him about me and he said “I still love her so much dude but she’s still healing from the baby and everything. Plus we’ve been together for a while and it’s just the same thing over and over” it really sucks because our son just turned 5 weeks old and I’m already so self conscious about my body since I’ve given birth. He was super super drunk. He hardly remembers the night. He’s never done anything like this before, he lets me look through his phone whenever I want and he is always so open and honest. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong or why he would do something like this. It hurts so bad and now every time we kiss or do anything dirty I just keep thinking about the messages he sent. He never even talked to another girl but It hurts just like he cheated.