Your Thoughts?

I am 13 years old, going to be 14 in August. I have a pretty normal life. My parents divorced when I was young, so my little brother by two years, my mom and I moved into a small apartment. At the time I 6 or 7 and our neighbor’s 14 year old kid watched us when my mom worked. He was a bad influence, and I could tell because he always was antagonizing my little brother. Despite that, he was also nice to me. I can’t really remember much other than a couple memories. At one point in time before my mom remarried, he had put a knife to my brother’s throat, and thats all I can remember from that memory. Another is when he picked me up without my consent and I bit his shoulder. The memory/memories I remember most is when he would force me to lay down with him. I don’t remember him doing anything but putting his arms around me and holding me kind tight. Keep in mind he always wore just basketball shorts and never a shirt. Lately I have thought about those times a lot and I really want to cry. It makes me feel more and more disgusted every time I remember it. I know its not as bad as other people have had it but it still hurts me.

Any thoughts?