Has anyone “adopted a mom”?

Both my husband and I have parents that are abusive/neglectful/unfit. Do any of you have these issues and have you ended up “adopting” pseudo parents? We have our grandparents and our mentors are more our grandparents age. I’m just feel like our babies will me missing that entire age group, and that once our grandparents eventually pass, our kids won’t have “real” grandparents after that.

I guess I’m just trying to find support/others with similar issues to learn from.

Here’s our story, skip ahead if you’d like, it’s not really essential to answer the question 😊:

My mom was abusive and neglectful on drugs, she says that’s she’s better now, but shes had some episodes where she’s tried to emotionally abuse me even now that I’m an adult

My dad was abusive, found religion with his schizophrenic breakdown, and is now generally decent... but he’s unmedicated and still believing in his delusions. So we plan on letting him be a grandpa, but not really sure if we can leave a baby alone with him (although he’s never had any physical episodes since that initial breakdown, which I could understand would have been very confusing and overloading for him. That was a decade ago now)

My husbands mom is a psychopath, kicked him out as a teen because he said he wanted to go to youth group instead of babysitting his siblings and basically made him drop out of school and be a full-time stay at home dad to his younger siblings after his dad left their family. Hes only seen his siblings 3 times after he was kicked out and it’s been 8 years.

His dad left them and doesn’t give 3 shits about his kids. He’s not seen them once since their divorce (other than our wedding) and still pays child support even though she’s not holding up to her side and not allowing him visits. He won’t take her to court and would prefer to go to college football games, get tattoos, buy big & fast cars, and refer to his dogs as his “babies” instead.