Jealousy over porn?

I’m 4 weeks postpartum so sex is a no-go! It has never been an issue before, he’s gone months without sex and didn’t feel the need to masturbate! He has always been very against masturbating and would get angry at me for it! I learned that he is now hiding and masturbating?? I didn’t really care when I found out because like I said, I do! But since I found out I have felt extremely jealous over the fact that he has now found other ways to get off! He has always lectured me on how sex or sexual acts shouldn’t be about getting off and should be about being with your partner in that way! But now he’s masturbating just to get off? I’ve never been so confused! Like I know I shouldn’t be jealous but I am???

WTH?

I can’t stand giving head! It’s been forced upon me in the past and since then it’s just not a thing I do!

Last night I gave him head strictly because I wanted to take care of his needs so he wouldn’t have to turn to masturbating... 🤦‍♀️

I totally feel like such an idiot

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