Trigger warning:

I had a natural birth with my first and I’m planning to go natural again. I wasn’t afraid the first time around about labor and delivery. Now I’m a bit scared. It was 27 hrs and I felt so out of control. I thought I could do it all by myself and in the end my midwife had to do a “finger forcepts” to get Baby to engage and move into birth canal and pass over the cervix. I pushed for like 9 hrs 2 hrs of it super intensely, I thought I’d “breath my baby out” then I tore 3rd degree tears and suffered for over a month I couldn’t sit let alone I was petrified to shit.

I’m scared this will happen again. Can I have a blissful birth? How do I heal these fears that I originally didn’t have? Any help would be great!