I am doing the best I can

There is something about strangers that makes me nervous now.

So the other day I was doing the grocery shopping and I have a three year old boy and a almost two year old boy. My three year old like most three year olds can chuck spectacular tantrums. Well while grocery shopping I was trying to get my oldest to stop yelling by talking to him calmly and trying to shop as fast as I can. I know kids scream and are loud but my son was just not in a good mood and was just acting out. Now I have tried nearly everything to help deal with these mood swings I have even gone to a psychologist but so far not much progress.

Anyway Mr. 3 starts hitting is brother and biting him and I decided to go to the customer service desk apologies profusely that I was not taking the groceries that I had in my trolley and that we were leaving. I now have two little kids crying and screaming when a lady to be in her mid to early 40’s walked into my personal space and told me I was a horrible, neglectful mother.

I was stunned and shocked and just wanted to burst into tears. I mean I was getting upset and embarrassed by my children’s behaviour more because it was disruptive more than it effected me as I am use to my oldest’s behaviour. But I never once raised my voice, I never threaten them, I never smacked them, yes I told him that he was being silly and that his behaviour was not acceptable. I tried distracting him. I got out a few of his toys, I turn on my phone to story time. But I was never mean or degrading.

The customer service lady looked at me with sympathetic eyes and a fake smile while taking the trolley. The lady continued to say stuff to me but I couldn’t really hear what she was saying all I could hear was my screaming children. I took them downstairs and back home. Once they had calmed down I proceeded to explain what they did was not what mommy expects while out shopping. What mommy needs is help and that by doing the things that are boring as quick as we can means we can have fun quicker.

That night while I laid in bed, I thought about that lady and all the things I should of said to her.

The next day I ramped up the shopping talk to the boys and said that they were watching going to hold a list for mommy so we can get the shopping done with my helpers. Shopping went great a few little upset moments but they were otherwise really good. While at the check out I happen to look up from the kids to see the same lady behind me with a disgusted look on her face. I smiled said hi to which both my boys said hi as well. As we were leaving I heard her say that at least I was doing better today.

My three year old turned and said you are mean. While I told my son that he shouldn’t say things like that I couldn’t blame him it was nicer words than what I would of said.

I am doing the best I can, I work from home while raising two kids, I have just completed my Diploma, I maintain the house, I do all the cooking, I look after my mother in law, I help my mother and father as much as possible, I am the shoulder to lean on with my husband after working 15hour days. There are days where I feel like a zombie there are days I want to hide under the covers and not come out. But I do all this without complaint, without asking for anything for myself because I love what I do. I am not perfect, I never claim to be, what I am is a mother to two rambunctious boys, and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world tantrums and all.

So to the next stranger that thinks I am not being a good mom, I am doing the best I can and that if I disrupted your shopping I apologise but that is no excuse to be rude and absolutely hurtful to a mother that was clearly struggling to calm her sons down.