Faith in God

I am beginning to lose faith that I have in God. My family has never been very religious, like we don't attend church every Sunday or pray together, but we still believe in doing what's moral and right. I did attend Catholic school from kindergarten to 8th grade for education reasons and it separated me more from God. I always hated all the rules we were supposed to follow and I felt like they were trying to push everything down our throats and I hated it because I hate being told what to do being the independent person I am. Every day I attended that school the religion just felt more hateful and hateful telling people they couldn't do what they wanted like get abortions, be gay, use birth control, or have sex before marriage and it just seemed wrong and controlling and it never made sense to me why some of those were wrong. As well as saying you couldn't do it they also said you would go to hell by doing it and I realize now that being on birth control and having sex before marriage will not send me to hell and I don't feel morally wrong doing it at all. I want to believe in a power higher than myself but it is just difficult for me to find it by knowing how awful some religions are and I would like to find one that's not so hateful. I would love people's feed back and I'm sorry that it is such a long paragraph. Thank you for who ever read it :)