Last year in June/July I saw a post on here about a psychic answering people's fertility questions.

Some were correct. Some hadn't got to the time the prediction was made for.

So I thought I would try it.

I'm normally quite a sceptic with mediums and psychics etc but just thought it can't harm.

My question was something like "will I have another baby in the future and if so when?"

My answer was along the lines of "I see another child in your future but not for another 11 months"

We were already TTC and I laughed when I read it and said to myself "I'll show you 11 months!"

I had never had fertility issues so couldn't understand why he would say 11 months.

3rd September came and I got a BFP! I was super happy and in my head was saying "I told you so!"

All that came to an end on 25th Oct when we were told baby was measuring 5/6 weeks smaller than my dates and no heartbeat.

I knew it was to end.

I was entirely certain on when I ovulated (BBT and OPKs) so I knew it wasn't going to change in a week when they wanted to rescan.

From then to now has been a blur.

I've had 2x chemical pregnancies in between then and now, one in January and one in March.

I gave up.

Maybe it's not our time. Maybe we aren't supposed to have anymore children. Maybe I'm broken. Maybe you're broken. Maybe it's just not meant to be.

Then May 1st my dad called me and told me his dad was in hospital and they're not sure if he will make it. He told me not to come. "You can't help he said" I just wanted to be there for him.

I nearly fell asleep and my phone rings.

He's changed his mind.

Get kids in the car and drive towards hospital with OH. Take kids to be babysat with MIL.

Get to hosp and 15mins later he died.

I can't tell you how strange I felt being there.

Not awkward, but I had a funny feeling. I kept thinking my grandad will send me an angel.

17th May was my due date. And also the day we said goodbye.

That evening I was so bloated and stuck my belly out trying on my dress for the funeral saying I look 5months pregnant and I'm going to need Spanx!

18th May I got this.

You guys my grandad sent me an angel. And it feels so different this time! Also it's been 11 months!