27 weeks Tuesday...

Soo it’s getting closer to August, went to the hospital late Friday night. Contractions every 7 hours, 5 min apart. I’m borderline preeclampsia, I’m anemic and I have to ekg to monitor my pulse, cause it’s been overly high my whole pregnancy. Was basically told, if I keep stressing or worrying or anything my life can be at risk Husband works on the road, oil rig. He knows everything, cause it freaked me out being told this and he isn’t here. Well told him he called said he loved me and to call like always in the AM to wake him for work. So I did, he said I love you and I’ll text you. We have 3 kids oldest is 5, then a 4 year old on June 27, then a 2 year old and currently pregnant with baby number 4. We’ve married for 6 1/2 years. He texted yesterday morning, after I sent him a text saying 11 more days till your family comes, to see you!! At 7:40, I received a text stating he hasn’t been happy in our marriage, he has only stayed for the kids, and he can’t keep being in our marriage when he is only doing it for the kids. Then I was informed by a good friend, that he is in fact going to visit another woman on June 22. I’m in total shock. I’m not supposed to be stressing or worrying or anything to keep my pulse low. Well that hasn’t been working. Got the shot to stop contractions and to mature sweet babygirls lungs. But contractions are back on full force.... I’m a c section so I don’t dilate like normal but I contract. The issue having now, is me overly worrying, I could put myself and baby in distress. I’m at a loss, at my mothers house pregnant with 3 kids and I have no idea where to go from here. Postpartum depression I’m almost certain has sunk in and has taken full effect. I just don’t know, my children last night when their daddy called said they didn’t want to talk to him. Mind you I haven’t been talking about their father, they don’t understand or can process it. Just said “we are at omas cause daddy needs to figure things out and daddy loves you very much and misses you” I never speak badly, or let them see me cry or let them hear me speak about the issues at hand. But I’m afraid if this keeps up my August baby will be arriving early.

Sorry basically a venting post...