I need advice. Husband probs.

So. I've been with my husband for 9 years. Been married for 5 and we have a baby on the way. Our first baby together after a miscarriage a few years ago. From the beginning I got nothing but lies about his past and he'd always make me feel less than everyone else. He'd always say how he did more for everyone which I didn't care about. I really wanted to get to know him. The real him and so I stayed. For two years I got nothing but lies and he cheated on me, but he claims he'd only talk to those girls on the phone. That he never slept with them which I never believed. I found out about that and decided to let him go, and when I found out about the lies too. He just wouldn't let me go and kept insisting. I gave him another chance and things were good. We'd argue from time to time, but it wasn't anything out of this world. We got married two years after the miscarriage and days before our wedding he brought up an ex of his and how he proposed to her. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, so I got past it and at the moment didn't say a word. We've been fighting a lot because he's been so distant from me for about a year and some months now. He doesn't seem to be interested in sex at all and says he doesn't wanna be near me cause of all the arguments and blames me for it all. I've been trying so hard to just be OK with him and for him to want me and I just can't help but think that it's all cause of me. Cause of how I look and that he might be talking to someone else again, even though he's proved to me he's not. It's the distance that's killing me and the lack of the connection we used to have. He got so caught up in work and his card obsession that time with me or intimacy just got pushed out the door. It's been a over a year that if I don't initiate things, it just doesn't happen and it kills me. It was a miracle that I got pregnant because our sex life doesn't exist at all. I've tried. I've been trying but I don't know what to do. We talk all the time and text too. We spend time together when he's home, but it's the intimacy issue that did all this and I can't help but think it's cause of someone else. Even though it's not. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do. He even had a hard time staying hard a few times and that is destroying me. I'm pregnant and I feel like maybe that's why he doesn't want me. But then again, this has been since before I got pregnant so I really don't know what it might be. He says it's not me, but how could it not be? I just feel so rejected all the time. We went for over a month without doing anything intimate. That's how I feel connected to him the most. He won't put effort at all when we do stuff. He won't kiss me or anything and I have to beg for him to go down on me. That's what our sex life has become for months now. Just occasionally do oral favors on each other and I hate that. But it feels as though even that is better than nothing. I don't know what to do. He says his weight is the issue now or that I'm pregnant but it feels like excuses to just not do anything with me. And lately that's been having me on edge and thinking crazy and that it's someone else because he's always put others before me. Even now being pregnant. His friend stayed here with us and he had told me to leave if I didn't like it. He didn't give me my place as his wife until the very end when his friend started acting crazy on him. Literally an older man obsessed with him and even my husband got scared of that. He says he loves me and I do believe it until it comes down to the bedroom and sometimes affection.. I just don't know what to do anymore. I want to try to not get close to him to see if he notices and reaches out to me, but don't know how. I just wanna be near him all the time and bond with him. Especially now that we're having our baby. It's just hard without being intimate sometimes at least. I want to feel wanted too. Or put distance between us to see if he notices anything but don't know how.